Life Talks with Lauren

Ep. 161-Hi, I'm a Recovering Perfectionist

It was a typical Wednesday evening roller derby practice. We had split into groups where half the skaters were doing laps while the other half stayed in the middle to do push-ups, squats, arm circles, etc. while waiting their turn. I was with the group in the center, and we were doing our usual chatting between sets. We started talking about comparison and how it affects us on the track - both during practice, and in bouts. Derby is a community where we make it a point to uplift and encourage each other, because we recognize how hard we can be on ourselves. It isn’t a sport by any means. Simply learning the basics of skating took me months and was something I agonized over for a long time. 

 

My teammates and I started talking about how easy it is to compare where we are in our skating and derby journey, and how discouraged we can feel when we aren’t “far enough” along. I especially felt that way after breaking my ankle and getting surgery at the start of 2023. I had worked so hard to build up my skills, and in an instant I was back to square one. When I finally made it back onto the track six months later, I had watched my peers grow in skill exponentially. And I felt left behind. It was as if I was learning to skate again for the first time. I had to be patient with myself and learn to embrace the imperfection within the journey. Thankfully, I had my derby family there to lift me up and remind me what I had overcome in the early days back. And still -- my desire to be perfect often holds me back from being the best player I can be. There are times when I get embarrassed at practice when I suck at something and I feel like…oh, I’ve been doing derby for over 2 years now and I make it a point to exercise so often outside of practice. I shouldn’t feel so behind or tired. But then I have to remind myself that struggling as I’m learning or gaining experience in something I care about isn’t something to be embarrassed of. Even now as I’ve picked up bowling as a hobby with my boyfriend, and he’s teaching me how to hook the ball and completely revamp my technique - some days it feels impossible not to beat myself up or feel discouraged. 

 

After sharing with my derby fam about these things, I began to wonder - where does perfectionism, especially in women, usually stem from? In what ways do we tend to allow it to hold us back from doing what lights us up? Are there tangible ways we can learn to work with our perfectionistic tendencies so they don’t hold us back as much? That’s what I intend to explore in this week's episode.

 

If you enjoyed the episode, hit that subscribe button! I'd also love to connect with you on IG. You can find me there @laurenmkepler. 

 

Talk to you soon!

Ep. 160-What Makes Women Feel Beautiful?

On November 12, 2024, I journaled about my confidence wavering. I wrote that I felt neutral about my body and not-so-confident in my social abilities. BUT that I felt good about that day’s work out, because it left me feeling strong and capable. At one point, I wrote: “I feel most beautiful when I feel most connected to myself.” Then, I elaborated:

 

When I’m taking care of myself (i.e. walking, working out, eating well--and by that I don’t mean eating “perfectly,” I mean eating regularly and feeling satisfied with my choices). When I’m connecting to the way my clothes fit. And taking the time to put on makeup. Maybe doing my hair. Putting on lotion. Setting aside quality time for me. Journaling. Being present with the people I care about. Showing up for myself and others through fear and doubts and “I don’t wanna’s.” Beauty feels holistic to me. It’s an inner and outer thing. I know that’s cliche, but it really makes a difference.

 

And it is a cliche statement to make. But it’s popular for a reason. And why do I think this? Because I checked Google. And a popular online forum. Then, I consulted a blog post written by the owner of a bath & body care company. Finally, I asked my online community to share their thoughts. The responses were mixed yet cohesive. 

 

Here’s what I discovered: Every woman has a unique blend that makes her feel like a baddie. And each formula contains a combination of actions any woman can take to radiate from the inside out. I'll tell you all about what I learned in today's episode. 

 

To access the blog version, check out my Substack. 

Ep. 159-How I Went from "I Just Don't Get Along with Other Girls" to Becoming an Unapologetic Girl's Girl

What does it even mean to be a “girl’s girl?” Does it mean we only respect women, and we hate on men? Do we have to unfailingly support each other, even when we’re in the wrong? And also - what can we do to celebrate and show up for the women in our lives? Those are questions I had, so I did some research.

Listen to the episode now to find out what I discovered, or if you prefer you can read the blog post version here. 

And as always, subscribe to stay in the know for future episodes and connect with me on Instagram @laurenmkepler!

Ep. 158-What Do Seasons Have to Do with Mental Health & Joy?

On January 6, 2025, I sent a 15-minute voice message to my good friend, Sami. She and I have gotten in the habit of sending weekly voice messages back and forth as a way to check in, motivate each other, and share what’s going on in our lives and minds. In my message to her on the 6th, I reflected on my thoughts about the upcoming year, and how it relates to my feelings about seasons. It inspired me to write a post on my exploration of embracing the push and pull of the seasons. Not just literal seasons based on weather, but also life’s seasons. How is it all intertwined? And how can we find beauty and comfort in different phases, especially the ones we enjoy the least?

 

What can we learn from women’s menstrual cycles, video games, and even goths about how to slow down and enjoy the seemingly unenjoyable? That’s what I intend to explore in this week's episode. To read the blog post version, click here. 

 

If you enjoyed this episode, connect with me on Instagram and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss future episodes!

Ep. 156: Did I get the job? | How the job hunt is going | My past experiences in finding work

You know how some things in life can bring up insecurities you thought you'd overcome? Like getting back into the dating world for the first time in a while. Or trying a new hobby. Or job hunting after being out of work for a while (or just getting your first job). That's been me lately. I've started looking for work as I make my way through a divorce, and let me tell ya--it's not for the faint of heart. BUT the good news is there are so many resources to help prepare. And it helps to have a community of supportive people that love me and see the best in me. They genuinely keep me afloat. So in this episode, I'm sharing my past history with finding jobs, how that's changed this time around, and what I did to prepare for my most recent job interview. 

Much like anything scary in life--there is so much to learn! And this experience has been no different. So come hang out with me while I share all the ups and downs of being on a job hunt. Hopefully you'll learn a thing or two :) If you wanna talk about it, come find me on Instagram! I'm @laurenmkendrick. 

Oh, and here are some of the YouTube videos I watched to help me prepare: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOpVzPapMws

https://youtu.be/prW5jqJ6xwA?si=-sgMgajKZIQd3cns

https://youtu.be/IV30jAw7dxA?si=xYQUr189_pfGI1n6

https://youtu.be/-QXAG3AT1p0?si=8zdFUyJi8gQXnv34

https://youtu.be/fYHR0KgnGHU?si=y0HqC6m2_h7or5jX

 

Talk to you soon!

Lauren

Ep. 155: Let's Talk Making Friends in Your 30's or After Moving to a New Place

Let's be real-making friends at any phase in life is intimidating. Especially as you get older and have more on your plate, or after moving a few states, across the country, or even across the world. I think we've all heard the advice on where to find friends (joining clubs, work, school, etc.), but how do you cultivate the right mindset to attract healthy friendships? Let's talk about it!

After listening, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the episode. You can reach out to me on IG @laurenmkendrick. Can't wait to hear from you! 

Ep. 154-Let's Talk Self-Validation

Do you ever feel insecure about your weight, how you think others perceive you, etc.? Because, same. Recently, I haven't been feeling pretty--and I know how trivial that sounds. But (especially as women) we think about our appearance so often. To the point where we're willing to spend thousands of dollars and torture ourselves just to look a certain way. But what truly makes us beautiful, and how can we learn to validate ourselves when we feel insecure about how we look? Let's discuss. You can always reach out and tell me your thoughts about this episode by connecting with me on Instagram @laurenmkendrick. Love you!

Ep. 153: Let's Talk Vulnerability and Oversharing

Is it hard for you to open up to people, or does it come naturally? For me, it's a mixture of both. People often ask how I'm able to be so vulnerable--especially with how much I share on this podcast, and how much I used to share on social media. And honestly? I do it so I feel less alone, and in hopes that you'll feel less alone too. How can you tell the difference between being vulnerable and oversharing? Let's talk about it! Dive into the episode and share your thoughts with me on Instagram @laurenmkendrick. Can't wait to hear from you! 

Ep. 152-Embracing Platonic Love and Women Friendships

As women, we're conditioned to prime ourselves for romantic love. So much so that when we struggle to find a long-term romantic partner, we think there's something wrong with us. But what about platonic love? The intimacy we share with our girls through laughter, secrets, asking for advice, and so much more. I wouldn't be where I am today without my female friendships, and I'm curious to know if you feel the same. You can share your experiences with me on Instagram @laurenmkendrick. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on the episode!

Ep. 151: Let's Talk Times When you Feel "Meh"

You ever have those days or weeks where you're just in a funk? And you just wanna hide away, but you still have to show up as if everything is fine. I experience them more often than I'd like to admit, but over time I've learned how to support myself through it. So let's talk about it. 

I'd love to hear your experience with the life lows and how you get yourself through it. You can find me on Instagram @laurenmkendrick. I'd love to hear from you!